If God Had a Locket Your Picture Would Be In It

Sermon by Katrina Ross Zezza, January 14, 2024, Freedom Plains United Presbyterian Church, LeGrangeville NY

Readings: Psalm 139, John 1:43-51

When my son was born and I held him for the first time, I was struck by a feeling I had never had before and it caught me off guard. I was ready to feel a kind of love I had never felt before, but this was something else. It was the feeling that I already knew him. I think the best way to describe it would be that he looked immediately familiar to me, as if he was a family member that I already knew, or an ancestor. The sun was setting outside our hospital window and we were bathed in a warm orange light. Looking into his face, my mind kept looping in recognition- oh this is someone I know- who is it? My brother kept popping into my mind. Are you my brother? I thought- nope this is a brand new person- it’s not your brother- it’s your son. I had the same feeling when my daughter was born 3 years later. 

It's incredible how sometimes an artist can shape words into feelings you didn’t think were possible to name. Ellen Bass is an American poet, she is now 76 years old and lives in Santa Cruz CA. In her poem from 2002 entitled “For My Daughter on Her 21st Birthday” there is a line that reminds me of that feeling I had when my kids were born. In it she says this to her grown daughter about the day she was born, “When they laid you in the crook of my arms like a bouquet and I looked into your eyes, dark bits of evening sky, I thought, of course this is you, like a person who has never seen the sea can recognize it instantly.” 

In our first reading today, from Psalm 139, we hear a description of the kind of love that God has for humanity, through the psalmist’s experience of being known and understood completely. The first verse says “O LORD, you have searched me and known me... you are acquainted with all my ways.” The psalm tells us that God is the one who knows us completely and still loves us, who knows our prayers and the longings of our hearts better than we can speak them. God sees everything that you went through, and what you are going through now.

Why is it such a relief when we feel like someone really understands? Theories in modern psychology say that we are wired for connection and that our instinct for empathy has been refined throughout human evolution as a way of ensuring our survival. The more we are connected to our community and securely attached in relationships, the better we function overall. But to form a connection we need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, which is not always easy to do. It’s especially hard if we aren’t feeling understood or seen. And we often end up hardening our hearts instead. So many things in life can harden our hearts. Loss of a loved one, health problems, financial hardship, the hurtful actions of people in our lives. And as if these things weren’t enough, it’s also very human to dream up all sorts of imagined treacheries against us. What if no one likes me? What if there’s something fundamentally wrong with me? What if people are conspiring against me?  

A friend of mine from seminary posted this on Facebook the other day, she said, “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but there are people speaking nicely about you behind your back. People are conspiring about ways to help you. People are genuinely rooting for you behind your back. Not everyone is against you, although it may feel like that sometimes.” Well, I was the one who needed to hear it. What a way to diffuse those negative thoughts. I felt my heart soften immediately and wondered if I should make this a mantra- to imagine who is out there rooting for us instead of imagining who is out there rooting against us.

Our second reading today from the gospel of John tells us that it is through being soft-hearted and open-minded that we come to know The Way and be in relationship with God. Before Nathaneal meets Jesus he is skeptical, closed off and showing prejudice at first. He asks “Can anything good can come from Nazareth?” I guess the reputation of Nazareth, at least among Nathaneal’s people, was not so good. But he decides to open his mind and soften his heart to the possibility that something good can come from Nazareth and when Phillip says, “Come and see” he decides to follow. Because of his willingness to be proven wrong and to keep an open mind, Nathaneal is able to meet Jesus and is changed by the encounter. As he approaches, Jesus recognizes him even before they are introduced. Jesus says, “Truly here is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.” Caught off guard, Nathaneal asks Jesus how he knows him and Jesus tells him that he saw him “under the fig tree”, which at first sounds like it could be a literal statement. Maybe he actually saw him sitting under a fig tree, but the way it reads is more figural or symbolic, more like a vision that Jesus has had of Nathaneal or possibly a dream. In Judaism, mention of a fig tree was a symbol for Torah study, and “under the fig tree” was considered the proper place to study the Torah in Rabbinic literature. So in this passage, Jesus is saying that he knows Nathaneal has been studying the Torah, and this amazes Nathaneal. One thing that stood out to me is how much it is about them seeing each other. Nathaneal is invited to come and see Jesus, and then Jesus truly sees him. He immediately feels known by this person.  And in turn, that is how he comes to realize who Jesus is. At that moment Nathaneal (also known as Bartholomew) becomes a disciple.

Nathaneal went on to do beautiful work because he and Jesus knew each other, and because he was seen and valued within the community for exactly who he was. To be in connection with God, and to pray, we need to soften our hearts the way that Nathaneal did, and to accept God’s love as a gift freely given. Unfortunately, it’s hard to accept a gift when you fundamentally believe that you don’t deserve it. And I think that is the feeling that hardens our hearts most of all- that sinking feeling that maybe I don’t deserve to be loved.

Based on her extensive research, Brené Brown defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. We feel like something we've experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” She says there is a big difference between shame and guilt. Guilt can be healthy and lead to growth, but shame does not. Guilt is when we think, “I made a mistake.” Shame is when we think, “I am a mistake.” Guilt is an awareness of harm caused by our behavior, which we regret. Shame is a degradation of our fundamental being. But the good news is that God wants us to put shame down. Not one of us is actually a mistake. 

There is a verse in Psalm 139 which is often referred to when we need to remember this. “You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.” In this verse we hear the powerful message that every wonderful thing was made by God, including us, that God created you the way you are for a reason, that the world needs you to be who you are, and you are called to love the world in the way only you can.

A lot of us grew up watching Mr. Rogers who was on the air for over 30 years, so he reached a lot of kids. Not everyone knows that he was a presbyterian minister though and that his ministry was his show. I found out recently that he was ordained by the Pittsburgh Presbytery in 1963 with the unusual charge to do his ministry with children through mass media. The show wasn’t religious at all, but he made a case that you didn’t need to talk overtly about God to get the message of the gospel across, and when talking about his ministry he said, “When we look for what’s best in the person we happen to be with at the moment, we’re doing what God does; so in appreciating our neighbor, we’re participating in something truly sacred.” His focus was not just on how important it is that children know they are loved, but also how vital it is for them to be loving to others- to help others know that they’re loved and capable of loving. He believed that as humans, our job is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is.

One of the things he liked to say to kids on his show was: “You are a very special person. There is only one like you in the whole world. There's never been anyone exactly like you before, and there will never be again. Only you.” What an incredible insight to share with someone of any age. There’s no one else exactly like you and there never will be again. Isn’t that amazing? It feels like a sacred realization. You are the only person who can be exactly who you are, so it’s important that you do it. 

Epiphany is the celebration of the magis’ visit to baby Jesus. The magis who followed a star to find the light of the world lying in a manger. Today is known as the second Sunday after Epiphany, and in some Christian traditions we are in the season of Epiphany. It comes from the Greek word epipháneia, meaning manifestation or appearance. It was used to refer to the appearance of other things including the sunrise in the morning, but it especially referred to the appearance of a deity to a worshiper. The symbolism of light is important to epiphany, not only because of the star that guided the magi, but also the bright dawning of God’s appearance in the Christ child who symbolizes divine entry into our world, the dawning of light in darkness. And I’d argue that the ongoing epiphany for us to realize is that this light is alive in every person we come to know, and in every baby ever born - God is revealed through their appearance. Both the child and the parent who holds them for the first time. To recognize God, maybe we have to become like the mother who says, "Of course this is you" - to see each other for the fearfully and wonderfully made creatures that we are.